I was born and raised in Mumbai, India; I have called South Florida 'home' since 2004. I moved to the United States as a young adult to pursue undergraduate and graduate studies in Psychology, earning a Ph. D. in Developmental Psychology where I focused on early development. Having spent my formative years in India followed by my years as a young adult in the United States, I feel equally close to both my Indian and American cultural identities. All these experiences have shaped me to be the person that I am today.
Given my extensive academic background in psychology, I thought I was well equipped to be the kind of parent I wanted to be. However, once I had kids, I realized that parenting is not easy! When I look back on my parenting journey, I can call my earlier self a ‘pendulum parent’. In my attempt to be a 'nice' parent, I tended to avoid conflicts and would leave it to the kids to manage whatever they needed. However, when nothing got done, the ‘responsible parent’ in me would become very concerned and I would turn into a 'strict and stern' parent and conclude that ‘being nice’ doesn't work! Of course, after all this, I felt guilty for being too ‘strict’ with my kids and I would be ‘nice’ all over again, thus swinging from permissive to domineering time and time again.
Like many young parents, I too was inspired to read parenting books whose ideas resonated with me. However, when I tried to apply some of these ideas in my parenting, I found that either they didn’t work with my strong willed kids, or the changes I was trying to make didn’t last for too long! I sought parent counseling but other than listening to my struggles, I didn't receive any other concrete support.
I did not want to give up but wasn't sure what I could do. So I started researching certification programs specializing in parenting and found a program that was backed by the latest work in the areas of nervous system science, brain science, and attachment science. As I got more involved, I could see that this work perfectly complemented my doctoral training in developmental psychology. I started understanding outward behavior better with the new tools to access its roots. I was finally able to understand not just my child's behavior but also learn the origins of my own behavior, and how these impacted my interactions with my child. Further, it exposed me to tools and support that extended my awareness and altered my communication skills.
Today I am a peaceful parent, but not perfect in any way! From time to time there are setbacks in my home but what has changed is how I address those issues. Instead of these difficulties disconnecting me from my kids, I am able to reflect, support and get closer to them. It is also clear to me that being a peaceful parent is possible with the right information and a support system. My parenting journey has inspired me to invite others to join me on this path via Beautiful Bonds. As I coached other parents, I saw the changes in their parenting as well. The significant shift in the way I interacted with my kids also motivated my husband to undergo this training with me as his coach!
Beautiful Bonds is a transformational journey for any parent. When my husband and I look back at our earlier selves as parents, we wish we were equipped with the right kind of support and guidance. I believe that this is a 'journey' and it takes time but if you are equipped with everything you need for the journey, your journey will be successful. Beautiful Bonds can equip you with all that you need for your empowered parenting journey so that you can be the parent you desire to be.
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